Review: BATMAN V SUPERMAN DAWN OF JUSTICE

"This isn't 1938 anymore, Kent! Apples don't cost a nickel anymore! It is time we live the real world"

That was an actual quote from one of the characters in this movie, namely Perry White from the Daily Planet. Just to let you know, 1938 was, coincidentally, the year the first Superman comic came out, made by two Jewish immigrants during the Great Depression, imagining a total embodiment of hope and justice that these two people desperately need.

Yet here is BATMAN V SUPERMAN having the audacity to flip off the inspiration in favor of their own boasting, self-righteous, yet totally ill-conceived interpretation: a whiny, brainless, cynical shell of a character that perfectly embodies the whole film, as well as possibly other DC universe movies going forward. I cannot stomach this guys. As I sit here writing this review merely hours after watching this, everything wrong with this movie just keeps spawning little by little the more I think about it. I was ready to give this a mixed rating - an attempt to stray far from the conflicting bias between the angry DC fans and the so-called “snobby” film critics – and call it a day. However to do that would be a disservice on my part on pointing out the abundance of suck that somehow is still being ignored.

But at the end of the day, I come to my conclusion that, no matter how you can disagree with my opinion or dismiss my straining attempt to explain myself, DAWN OF JUSTICE is just a mindless, childish, wrongheaded, overstuffed, weirdly pretentious, apathetically made movie made up of overfilled subplots and grim self-importance in a shameless attempt to pander to the fans without any clear sense of care or coherence.

MAJOR SPOILERS BEWARE!

Among the dozens of overwritten yet still unrealized subplots within the first hour of the movie, Lex Luther (or the Social Network playing the Joker playing Luther) is prejudice against God-like beings and wants to kill Superman for that reason (if you forget that don’t worry; he keeps freaking repeating it!!) Meanwhile Batfleck is mad at Superman because he crashed his Wayne tower during the fistfight with Zod in MAN OF STEEL.

Oh, and Lois Lane tries to crack down secrets during the African militia because somehow David Goyer still doesn’t know what to do with her.

Oh and Lex finds kryptonite with the intent to kill Superman, to which Batfleck and Jeremy Alfreds steal to make Superman-proof weapons to fend him off.

Oh and Superman attempts to expose Batman for his vigilantism in Gotham that doesn’t go anywhere and really feels irrelevant in the end.

Oh, and a senator wishes to expose Superman in court, with the help of Lex Luther as well as an army of angry protesters, for his supposed dangerous powers and numerous casualties, which may sound like an interesting and complex part of the story until it literally BLOWS up on our faces and leaves Superman to be blamed even further.

Oh, and Luther somehow hacked into the remains of the alien ship, hijacks Zods dead body and for some reason turns him into Doomsday to have a final boss fight during the climax.

Oh and Lex somehow kidnaps Superman’s mom and instead of beating it out of this twerp, Superman takes his offer to fight Batman so that he can have her back.

Oh, and Wonder Woman shows up at the beginning during Luther’s party and at the very end in a tolerable outfit and helps Batman and Superman fight Doomsday.

Oh and there is a totally forced and obnoxious tease for the Justice League, as Wonder Woman finds footage from Lex Luthor of Aquaman, Cyborg, and the Flash that has no purpose other than trying to replicate Marvel-style world-building but without any hint of subtlety. 

Oh, and Superman finds a Kryptonite-infused weapon and attempts to reenact The Death of Superman so unearned and ill-timed that it leaves the whole audience in the theatre groaning and booing, leaving Bruce Affleck and Gisselle to form the Justice League in attempt to prevent this hardship from happening and make potentially underwhelming DC movies in the near future.

Wow. All that.

*sigh* where to begin…

First off, the first two acts of this movie is so tedious and poorly structured that literally my brother and I almost slept in the theatre. All this movie does is set up the big title fight with needless subplots, overbearing symbolism, and on-the-nose dialogue. What was the point of the senator trying to dispute Superman’s morality in a courtroom scene when they are going to blow it up and frame him anyway? Why is Jesse Eisenberg going on and on about Gods being evil other than hammering in the already-obvious-enough symbolism? Why does the script keep contriving Lois Lane to be put in peril all the time? What is the point of Martha Kent other than having her spew pretentious motivation and be yet another damsel in distress? The answer Goyer and somehow an academy-award winning screenwriter provide is “No guys, don’t think about it. The people seeing this movie are too stupid to think about all that. We focus on the rich and iconic characters.”

Well, if that is the case, then why did you guys also screw that up too? Setting aside the overly talked-about dispute on the grim, gritty Superman back in MAN OF STEEL, this film further solidifies the careless and cynical take on these characters. Superman only saves people during rushed and sidelined montages, but for the wrong reasons. Rather than the intent of saving people that reflected on the helpless youth he had during his childhood, this Superman just wants to prove a point, without him having a clear perspective on what he feels about these people in the first place. As far as I know, he could just be a psychopath and the people were right all along, which makes it all the more frustrating to have this character die without any thought as to how the civilians might digest this other than raiding his coffin. Heck, for an obvious attempt to redo Batman, they even got him wrong as well; for such a heavy emphasis to redo the origin story (because who wouldn’t see that again?), we don’t see him take this to consideration as he mows down soldiers with machine guns and the Batmobile.

All of this comes down to a really uninspired fist fight that has been hyped for THREE YEARS with a kryptonite-crippled Superman that abruptly stops thanks to literally THE STUPIDEST REVELATION OF ANY SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER!! Seriously, I won’t even spoil it, because it is so stupid and poorly executed it almost feel like parody!

All of this would make this mediocre that would be easily saves thanks to execution, but then again we are dealing with the oh-so underappreciated Zack Snyder, who I am convinced might be the next Michael Bay. The way he directs the actors and scenes, as well as establish every scene is all so amateurish it is almost surreal. The actors do nothing other than stare blankly at something, stand in front of the camera and lazily deliver tedious dialogue, and drone on about their relentlessly self-importance, along with a dusting of Snyder’s editing tricks and aestheticism that got boring even after SUCKER PUNCH.

Henry Cavill comes off just as stiff and unlikeable as he was in MAN OF STEEL. Even if the character is such an unlikeable thing to begin with, this guy just goes through the motions with no care for his role in a role that is severely reduced in the movie. Heck, even Batfleck is on autopilot! Ben Affleck is a good actor who has proved himself great in the film business, but he is so boring here, rendering as less of a brooding vigilante and more of an apathetic lunk. Doomsday is every bit as boring and extraneous as he was in the comics. But the crowning king of bad performances is Lex Luthor, who might be next to Doctor Doom in FANT4STIC as being the comic book movies worst villain ever. Setting aside his awfully typical Eisenberg impressions and cringe worthy performance, nothing from his motivation or his pretentious monologue is realistic. It seems like they are going for the unpredictable, evil for evils sake take on the character instead of the politically charged super genius, but it never pays off well at all. This guy is seriously the worst part of this movie.

Alright, now the good parts! Ben Affleck does nothing to make him stand out in the role, but once he fights, specifically in a warehouse, it does look pretty cool. Credit is due to the legend Hans Zimmer for the unfitting yet epic score. And yes, credit is due to Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, who kicks some serious ass in the end.

However, despite some major good moments, the movie still sinks to the worst examples of Hollywood superhero movie making since AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2. Among the terrible script and deadpan acting, the movie is further poisoned by the pessimistic filmmakers so willfully convinced of their own butchered, fan service-laden version of their DC property that it saddens me the more I look into it. Say what you want about the Marvel movies being campy and dumb at times, but at least they are made by people who cared. Stories like DAREDEVIL, JESSICA JONES, and even THE WINTER SOLDIER can be dark and grim, but with meaning and complexity and rich characters that came from people who simply get it! And now this movie, in an attempt to redo two of the greatest comic book heroes, both with complexity and moral standards, now stripped all that away in favor of dour, pompous meatheads for the sake of pandering to those who ceaselessly dispute this as “just a comic book movie” when comic book movies can prove more than that!

Now I am sure that a lot of fans will dismiss this review as yet another snobby film critic movie-hating exercise. If your claims to dispute my perspective comes next to "Dude you're nitpicking! You only like Marvel because you don't like Batman or anything that looks cool! You just like boring Marvel campy bullcrap!" then would you mind explaining why I loved THE DARK KNIGHT and I don't care much about THOR THE DARK WORLD or AGE OF ULTRON. I have standards too guys; it's not like I was all that crazy on THE AVENGERS or that ANT MAN didn't have problems. Can a superhero movie that wants to be smart and cool actually have the decency to be smart and cool?

No matter how much you want to hate my conclusion, DAWN OF JUSTICE might not disappoint me as much as it can, but it is simply not good.

Rating: 4/10 (BAD)

Review: 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

I will be honest, during the time that CLOVERFIELD dominated the hype media back in 2007, I didn't care all that much. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to see it and it maintains as good as I thought it would be, but man did the marketing got out of control. For all the time people speculated about the title, the tagline "1-18-2008", and constant ludicrous theories, I somehow became the minority when I kept saying "It is just a Monster movie BLAIR WITCH style! Get over yourselves!" I didn't even bother to care what I thought the monster actually looked like, which I apparently was also the minority on among the utterly disappointed audience who saw nothing more than just a giant lizard. As for me, I liked it enough. Sure the overall payoff sorely needed, there was really some dumb moments, and the overall film almost swayed into Overrated territory, but it still hold enough for me as far as monster movies BLAIR WITCH style goes. 

With that being said, it is no surprise that I would also have mixed feelings with its "blood relative" 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE. The first 90 minutes is a solid mix of elaborate problem-solving and an even darker spin on the people-trapped-in-a-room scenario (think ROOM but in the room throughout the movie), while the last part is... underwhelming to say the least.

And it is at this point that we really could have seen this coming, especially from a Bad Robot production company. I would be the last to know how the whole JJ Abrams "mystery box" marketing for his movies actually works for me, but I would be the first to elaborate how obnoxious it gets while trying. There is a level of patronization with the conceit of playing with my expectations and having the whole thing turn up like I always thought it would be the whole time, and I HIGHLY doubt that I am on the minority on the issue. Sure, a movie as good otherwise as THE FORCE AWAKENS or even CLOVERFIELD would dismiss it entirely, but this does conjure a lot of unfulfilled expectations that might taint these films despite their quality. 

But to the story. A woman named Michelle is held under supervision in an underground bunker by the man of Howard (John Goodman), who claims to save her from an impending danger up on the surface. Throughout the movie, we explore her interacting with both him and another guy while they, or rather the film, constantly hints at said impending danger that I, frankly, already know about fro the title. Things gradually get hostile with Howard, who may or may not be a closet psychopath, and the two other people find ways to piece together what is going on, and evidently escape only to face a pretty underwhelming ending. 

The movies strong points is definitely when the main characters are in the bunker. Outside of mystery teasing and Howard's creepy dual nature, the script manages to bring out these characters outside of their blank-state traits. Michelle in particular is the most well-rounded of them all, as we first see her running away from personal issues only to have her think multiple ways to solve them instead throughout the movie. What was once a confused, frail woman slowly but surely shifts into a bold, outward-thinking protagonist within the confines of her unfamiliar surroundings. Sadly, the other guy (John Gallagher Jr) just doesn't grow into me other than some dude trying to be funny.

But at the end of the day, it is John Goodman who steals the show. What once framed as either kind-hearted, dignified, or just an everyman, his role might be his biggest and darkest turn for what otherwise could've been a tired crazy man stock character. Menacing and aggressive at one point, but dignified and collective in the next. He is also just a joy to watch, stealing almost every scene where he gets to flip his shit! Had this film tanked in any way, he might still be worth at least one viewing.

Heck, even the director earns great credit here. After enjoying these 90 minutes, I am certainly keeping track of Dan Trachtenberg for now on. He follows this film with a Portal short called NO ESCAPE, and boy does it resonate just as well here. The film is somehow structured like some sort of puzzle-solving point-and-click game where the main character finds elaborate ideas and inventions to progress the story.  He certainly gets this down to the tee, as well as a good eye for composition, chilling still-shots, and making claustrophobic tunnel crawling instantly engaging. For all the films based on simple sets, it is quite a feat to draw us into every punch, scream, and chase scene leading up to the big ending...

...And then the ending happened, and the quality all dips down to "meh". Without spoiling, the point at which one of the main characters steps outside of the bunker sorely disconnected me. Not only does it drag and quickly skews over to ridiculous territory, it was basically a payoff that I already expected. Seriously, if you have seen CLOVERFIELD and got fooled by the trailers into thinking of something more, you really need to check yourself. Not only that, but it feels completely distant from the other parts of the movie, as if JJ Abrams was saying instead of calling it a "blood relative," he meant to say "Look. This had nothing to do with CLOVERFIELD, so we decided to drop the name in to help the director sell more tickets!" 

Above all else, the movie is quite simply solid enough for recommendation, even though it could've been more tight with the ending, the stuff before is so good that I can't fault this merely for unmet expectations

Rating: 7/10 (GOOD)

Review: ZOOTOPIA

I don't know how Disney keeps getting away with this. Ever since the Renaissance, they proven to make successful movies out of risky concepts. Movies like FROZEN and INSIDE OUT have given themselves a big challenge, but at the same time gives a wide array of ideas and depth and meaning, proving that these simple kids movies can resonate the same way, if not more, to adults. Now in ZOOTOPIA, the Mouse House have given themselves their boldest endeavor to date: creating a world entirely inhabited with anthropomorphic animals while also throwing jabs at an abundant supply of social commentary. The result is a lot smarter, more insightful, and even a lot darker execution than we ever expect from Disney, while also being as charming, creative and at times heartwarming. And I will be damned that, even considering some missteps, this may not turn out to be one of the best movies of the year.

The story centers around a rabbit named Judy Hopps who wishes to be a cop while being discouraged by the fact that they do not allow innocent prey as cops. Despite this, she proves to be cunning and willing enough to prove the world that she could save the world. She then earns her badge and is deployed to Zootopia, a New York esque city filled with animals. Along her journey to rise above the ranks, she meets Nick Wilde, a sneaky fox who makes a living causing trouble with a personal scarring almost parallel to Hopps. While solving a case of a missing otter, they both team up to find him, all while delving into a much bleaker and more complex story that honestly needs to be seen rather than further explained.

As expected with a premise like this, this movie goes full-force in its social allegory that resembles the world we live in today, an endeavor almost too risky to contemplate. In their universe, the predators and prey used to be on opposing sides until an act that makes them equal. Unfortunately, the predators now face overwhelming prejudice from a paranoid society, preventing them from shopping or being free from ridicule. Seriously! And it is quite apparent in his backstory that Nick evidently lived his whole life with this.

But that doesn't stop there. Without spoiling too much, a certain moment that might just be yet another forced conflict to transition to the third act, the movie then pulls out a wild card and turn this into a bigger issue: inventing said third act where the movie commentates on segregation, racial profiling, law enforcement with a compromised moral code, corrupt politicians, drugs, dirty secrets, and even the issues on mentally instability.

WOW!

Say what you want about Disney, they do NOT hold back on this. So much of this conflict is almost too rampant in our real world to bare, even for a kids movie. Thankfully, the movie knows its limits and keeps it accessible to the attended younger audience. That may be the strongest secret to this movie: It commentates on these issues while also tying into a rather coherent story and not have it over dominate the proceedings, thus making it preachy. And it all comes together in the finale, hopefully promoting a better future of equality, kindness, and everything else Martin Luther King preaches, thus benefitting itself into somehow being a more potent wake-up call than the utterly preachy and jumbled objectivist circle-jerk that was last years TOMORROWLAND. 

Now this may sound wierd, like how the predator-as-minority might allude to minorities in the real world used DESERVED to be ridiculed in the first place. However, since it is Disney, I highly doubt they make this intentional, more or less leaning toward the "sure they're savaging beast, but are they also just like us" angle.

Even not considering all that though, the movie is also bursting with charisma and creativity that hovers. The movie brings extra detail into the practicality of how these animals inhabit Zootopia, thus creating a bunch of clever jokes as well. Hopps determined natured paired with Wilde's sly, quip-talking nature seemed too played out in other buddy-cop movies, but thankfully the script, however juvenile (it is a Disney movie after all), is tight enough to breathe these tropes onto its own. And yes it is worth noting that the voice acting from Idris Elba, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, etc. are all top-notch. 

There are a few missteps, though. It has been well-known that the new Disney movies like to play around with certain tropes of their own (FROZEN especially). Here they do quite a few of them, and some skews a little too on-the-nose. (see the movie to know what I am talking about). Even they do well with invoking some clever commentary with the animals, one in particular plays on for too long and serves little more than a DMV joke. The writing, however tight as usual, remains just enough to grasp for kiddies but fairs a little too obvious for me. To be fair, I expect that going into this movie, but I cannot shake occasional exposition that repeats plot points I already know. But probably the most off-putting is the Pop-reference pandering (Shakira as a Gazelle, movie references, the whole 9) which sadly puts the rating down a little.

Small gripes notwithstanding, ZOOTOPIA is quite simply a revelation! A type of movie that turns the tired "buddy-buddy cop" story into something more thought-provoking than this company would usually allow. A movie that will both leave kids with their minds nourished and their parents' eyes open, it is smart, charming, and inspired. Finally, 2016 has its first great movie!

Rating: 8/10 (GREAT)