Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Review: BATMAN V SUPERMAN DAWN OF JUSTICE



"This isn't 1938 anymore, Kent! Apples don't cost a nickel anymore! It is time we live the real world"

That was an actual quote from one of the characters in this movie, namely Perry White from the Daily Planet. Just to let you know, 1938 was, coincidentally, the year the first Superman comic came out, made by two Jewish immigrants during the Great Depression, imagining a total embodiment of hope and justice that these two people desperately need.

Yet here is BATMAN V SUPERMAN having the audacity to flip off the inspiration in favor of their own boasting, self-righteous, yet totally ill-conceived interpretation: a whiny, brainless, cynical shell of a character that perfectly embodies the whole film, as well as possibly other DC universe movies going forward. I cannot stomach this guys. As I sit here writing this review merely hours after watching this, everything wrong with this movie just keeps spawning little by little the more I think about it. I was ready to give this a mixed rating - an attempt to stray far from the conflicting bias between the angry DC fans and the so-called “snobby” film critics – and call it a day. However to do that would be a disservice on my part on pointing out the abundance of suck that somehow is still being ignored.

But at the end of the day, I come to my conclusion that, no matter how you can disagree with my opinion or dismiss my straining attempt to explain myself, DAWN OF JUSTICE is just a mindless, childish, wrongheaded, overstuffed, weirdly pretentious, apathetically made movie made up of overfilled subplots and grim self-importance in a shameless attempt to pander to the fans without any clear sense of care or coherence.

MAJOR SPOILERS BEWARE!

Among the dozens of overwritten yet still unrealized subplots within the first hour of the movie, Lex Luther (or the Social Network playing the Joker playing Luther) is prejudice against God-like beings and wants to kill Superman for that reason (if you forget that don’t worry; he keeps freaking repeating it!!) Meanwhile Batfleck is mad at Superman because he crashed his Wayne tower during the fistfight with Zod in MAN OF STEEL.
Oh, and Lois Lane tries to crack down secrets during the African militia because somehow David Goyer still doesn’t know what to do with her.
Oh and Lex finds kryptonite with the intent to kill Superman, to which Batfleck and Jeremy Alfreds steal to make Superman-proof weapons to fend him off.
Oh and Superman attempts to expose Batman for his vigilantism in Gotham that doesn’t go anywhere and really feels irrelevant in the end.
Oh, and a senator wishes to expose Superman in court, with the help of Lex Luther as well as an army of angry protesters, for his supposed dangerous powers and numerous casualties, which may sound like an interesting and complex part of the story until it literally BLOWS up on our faces and leaves Superman to be blamed even further.
Oh, and Luther somehow hacked into the remains of the alien ship, hijacks Zods dead body and for some reason turns him into Doomsday to have a final boss fight during the climax.
Oh and Lex somehow kidnaps Superman’s mom and instead of beating it out of this twerp, Superman takes his offer to fight Batman so that he can have her back.
Oh, and Wonder Woman shows up at the beginning during Luther’s party and at the very end in a tolerable outfit and helps Batman and Superman fight Doomsday.
Oh and there is a totally forced and obnoxious tease for the Justice League, as Wonder Woman finds footage from Lex Luthor of Aquaman, Cyborg, and the Flash that has no purpose other than trying to replicate Marvel-style world-building but without any hint of subtlety. 
Oh, and Superman finds a Kryptonite-infused weapon and attempts to reenact The Death of Superman so unearned and ill-timed that it leaves the whole audience in the theatre groaning and booing, leaving Bruce Affleck and Gisselle to form the Justice League in attempt to prevent this hardship from happening and make potentially underwhelming DC movies in the near future.

Wow. All that.
*sigh* where to begin…

First off, the first two acts of this movie is so tedious and poorly structured that literally my brother and I almost slept in the theatre. All this movie does is set up the big title fight with needless subplots, overbearing symbolism, and on-the-nose dialogue. What was the point of the senator trying to dispute Superman’s morality in a courtroom scene when they are going to blow it up and frame him anyway? Why is Jesse Eisenberg going on and on about Gods being evil other than hammering in the already-obvious-enough symbolism? Why does the script keep contriving Lois Lane to be put in peril all the time? What is the point of Martha Kent other than having her spew pretentious motivation and be yet another damsel in distress? The answer Goyer and somehow an academy-award winning screenwriter provide is “No guys, don’t think about it. The people seeing this movie are too stupid to think about all that. We focus on the rich and iconic characters.”

Well, if that is the case, then why did you guys also screw that up too? Setting aside the overly talked-about dispute on the grim, gritty Superman back in MAN OF STEEL, this film further solidifies the careless and cynical take on these characters. Superman only saves people during rushed and sidelined montages, but for the wrong reasons. Rather than the intent of saving people that reflected on the helpless youth he had during his childhood, this Superman just wants to prove a point, without him having a clear perspective on what he feels about these people in the first place. As far as I know, he could just be a psychopath and the people were right all along, which makes it all the more frustrating to have this character die without any thought as to how the civilians might digest this other than raiding his coffin. Heck, for an obvious attempt to redo Batman, they even got him wrong as well; for such a heavy emphasis to redo the origin story (because who wouldn’t see that again?), we don’t see him take this to consideration as he mows down soldiers with machine guns and the Batmobile.

All of this comes down to a really uninspired fist fight that has been hyped for THREE YEARS with a kryptonite-crippled Superman that abruptly stops thanks to literally THE STUPIDEST REVELATION OF ANY SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER!! Seriously, I won’t even spoil it, because it is so stupid and poorly executed it almost feel like parody!

All of this would make this mediocre that would be easily saves thanks to execution, but then again we are dealing with the oh-so underappreciated Zack Snyder, who I am convinced might be the next Michael Bay. The way he directs the actors and scenes, as well as establish every scene is all so amateurish it is almost surreal. The actors do nothing other than stare blankly at something, stand in front of the camera and lazily deliver tedious dialogue, and drone on about their relentlessly self-importance, along with a dusting of Snyder’s editing tricks and aestheticism that got boring even after SUCKER PUNCH.
Henry Cavill comes off just as stiff and unlikeable as he was in MAN OF STEEL. Even if the character is such an unlikeable thing to begin with, this guy just goes through the motions with no care for his role in a role that is severely reduced in the movie. Heck, even Batfleck is on autopilot! Ben Affleck is a good actor who has proved himself great in the film business, but he is so boring here, rendering as less of a brooding vigilante and more of an apathetic lunk. Doomsday is every bit as boring and extraneous as he was in the comics. But the crowning king of bad performances is Lex Luthor, who might be next to Doctor Doom in FANT4STIC as being the comic book movies worst villain ever. Setting aside his awfully typical Eisenberg impressions and cringe worthy performance, nothing from his motivation or his pretentious monologue is realistic. It seems like they are going for the unpredictable, evil for evils sake take on the character instead of the politically charged super genius, but it never pays off well at all. This guy is seriously the worst part of this movie.

Alright, now the good parts! Ben Affleck does nothing to make him stand out in the role, but once he fights, specifically in a warehouse, it does look pretty cool. Credit is due to the legend Hans Zimmer for the unfitting yet epic score. And yes, credit is due to Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, who kicks some serious ass in the end.

However, despite some major good moments, the movie still sinks to the worst examples of Hollywood superhero movie making since AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2. Among the terrible script and deadpan acting, the movie is further poisoned by the pessimistic filmmakers so willfully convinced of their own butchered, fan service-laden version of their DC property that it saddens me the more I look into it. Say what you want about the Marvel movies being campy and dumb at times, but at least they are made by people who cared. Stories like DAREDEVIL, JESSICA JONES, and even THE WINTER SOLDIER can be dark and grim, but with meaning and complexity and rich characters that came from people who simply get it! And now this movie, in an attempt to redo two of the greatest comic book heroes, both with complexity and moral standards, now stripped all that away in favor of dour, pompous meatheads for the sake of pandering to those who ceaselessly dispute this as “just a comic book movie” when comic book movies can prove more than that!

Now I am sure that a lot of fans will dismiss this review as yet another snobby film critic movie-hating exercise. If your claims to dispute my perspective comes next to "Dude you're nitpicking! You only like Marvel because you don't like Batman or anything that looks cool! You just like boring Marvel campy bullcrap!" then would you mind explaining why I loved THE DARK KNIGHT and I don't care much about THOR THE DARK WORLD or AGE OF ULTRON. I have standards too guys; it's not like I was all that crazy on THE AVENGERS or that ANT MAN didn't have problems. Can a superhero movie that wants to be smart and cool actually have the decency to be smart and cool?

No matter how much you want to hate my conclusion, DAWN OF JUSTICE might not disappoint me as much as it can, but it is simply not good.


Rating: 4/10 (BAD)

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