Review: ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

Ugh… Where do I even begin?

Look, I understand how absurd it seems that I feel indifferent towards the new Alice in Wonderland, given my age and social background. I am fully aware that my friends and I relish in the Hot Topic gothic scene and having a film based on the classic Lewis Carroll books drench itself in that aesthetic would won us over no matter what. But, sorry to break the news, some tragically flawed movies cannot be overlooked, especially if said movies grow increasingly dependent on adapting old classics. We must throw down our swords and admit that the well-intentioned misfire that was the new Alice movie just didn’t live up to expectations, despite the scattered good things and the signature Tim Burton aesthetic.

However, with this movie – Alice Through The Looking Glass – it just sucks. I’m sorry, but it’s just shitty. In fact, this is the movie that drives home the insight that these people simply do not get Alice in Wonderland. It is the type of bad sequels that squanders every little speck of goodwill on the better-in-comparison previous movie. The script is clumsy and awful; the acting ranges to bland to embarrassing, the direction feels lifeless, the story barely compares the originals big scope as much as it compares to filler Reddit fanfiction, and the iconographies from the original book remains as sparse and unfaithful as the first time around. Out of all the crappy sequels to movies, especially those in desperate need of sequels, this looks to be by far the worst, simply by the virtue of people behind it not giving one bit of a shit of what they are required to work with.

The level of suck this movie possesses doesn’t even prompt me to even pay mind about the plot, but it’s more interesting to realize how the screenwriter is about as careless as I am. The movie literally starts with Alice living her carefree, adventurous life as a naval voyager only to have it all stripped away by her ex-fiancé from the last movie for a contrived reason to have her back to square one (because sure, that’s how good sequels usually work!). After about 15 minutes of admittedly insightful commentary about sexist social life in early England, Alice then journeys to Wonderland (yes they used to call it Underland, but I pay little to that detail almost as much as this movie does) and discovers that the Mad Hatter is suffering PTSD from his parents’ death. Grief-stricken, Alice is informed that she must consult the matter to Time, a being with the ability to both manipulate every hour and spew out really obnoxious time puns. Having realized that he and the Queen of Hearts are conspiring against her, Alice takes matters in her own hands and steals the Chronosphere, a device-turned-time-traveling-hamster-wheel to save The Hatters illness. Oh, and the Cheshire cat is in this to!

Anyway, if you thought any of the plot points I listed would instantly make a great movie, stay away from Alice Through The Looking Glass. Every story element, like all of the classic Alice characters the movie throws in indiscriminately, is half-realized and ultimately pointless. The real life scenarios, where Alice struggles against the aforementioned sexism in the working class, are all abruptly resolved with no hesitation or engagement, with not even an attempt to satisfy with fantasy world, a concept that at least the first movie got right. Whereas the first movie adjoins the two worlds via a theme of finding the confidence to be different, this movie fumbles this completely, having the main lead shift from “I will not stand for this oppression” to “nah, it will pass. You can have all I have.”

But it’s more than just the final message; for a tired attempt to fully realize the Hatters and the Queens backstories’ via an over complicated time-traveling concept, the movie lacks the subtlety and nuance to have us invested in any of it. Not only does the movie takes the lazy routes of backstories (daddy issues, mean sisters, etc.) the whole staging and execution invokes no subtlety and winds up being tedious, and that is to say nothing of the film frequently detouring to the side characters fooling around. I have never experienced a 3^rd grade level script in the short time I spent watching movies in my entire life.

Had this been the first film, the weak script would be levied by some visual panache, much credit to Tim Burton. But this movie is stuck with James Bobin, late of two The Muppet movie. The attempt to fill in Burton’s seat cripples Bobin to replicate his vision, rendering the whole production limp and downgraded. Although he fits snuggly in the Muppets when all he does is photographs standard puppet antics, he falls incredibly short with set piece spectacles and overuse of CG and green screen, thus making them look bafflingly poor. And no matter how much CG and over-the-top costumes and make-up piles up on frame, he just makes the time-traveling sea-sailing look boring, the empty story look even emptier, and the painfully predictable climax look less inspired. The first movie may be little more than just style over substance, but at least the style came from a particular vision, and seeing someone trying to ape the same aesthetic is perplexing.

            The acting, which could have at least save this movie, is all flavors of bad. Poor Mia Wasikowska proving her abilities in other movies, but the way she tries to connect with her inconsistent character is clearly out of her range. Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp both top this year’s laughably terrible performance. What was once acceptable quirkiness from the first film now proves to be obnoxious once the film attempts to make them well-rounded characters. Only Borat, who plays Time, seems to be consistently fun in his role. Yes, it’s clear that he’s just marketing bait for the film, but he hams it up just enough so we won’t get sick of him.

            I could go on bashing this movie (like saying how bad the jokes are and how the Queen got her head so big is beyond stupid even by Lewis Carroll standards) but I would just be rambling. Bottom line, this movie is an absolute waste of potential, notwithstanding my low expectations. How so? Well, let’s compare the movie as a whole to one of its scenes, in which Alice has been transported to an Asylum for her abnormal behavior, only to then have her escape elatedly without any negative repercussions. They both could conjure some good potential (what if Alice was just crazy all this time) but it’s immediately sidelined and ultimately pointless. That’s the movie in the nutshell: theoretically intriguing but nowhere near as committed and ultimately pointless.

Rating: 3/10

Review: X-MEN APOCALYPSE

Okay, here is my darkest secret: I never *loved* the X-MEN movies.

            Wait, wait! Don’t misunderstand me. I never hated them as much as I appreciate but never got into them. They do offer a vast amount of great moments that lifts the staying power of otherwise dated, middlebrow action movies. I mean to be honest, had it not been for the potent civil rights allegory, the iconic lead roles, and X2s big step forward for the franchise at the time, the X-MEN movies (The Last Stand and Wolverine Origins especially) would barely hold any lasting weight outside of noticeably dated CG, bad costumes, limp stories, and not a clear sense of grand scope. We excuse all that back then because, comparatively, they stand better than all the baggage of bad 90s superhero movies at the time, but looks a bit limp now that the genre reached a renaissance with The Avengers, The Dark Knight, Spider Man, among others.

            And for a moment, there might be a chance to update or even reinvigorate this series, what with First Class being awesome, Days of Future Past being better than expected, and Deadpool actually having fun with itself. But after watching Apocalypse… all that goodwill immediately vanishes.

            X-Men Apocalypse, while not a total disaster, pretty much encapsulates the bland, dated, and totally clumsy aspects of the older X-Men movies with the sparse amount of good things spaced out by uninspired or flat-out bad things. It never rises any more than above average and occasionally falls below it, but it is overall better than what it could have been.

BIG SPOILERS!!!

            The story, for the record, seems pretty simple but to a fault. Apparently there was an ancient, all-powerful mutant called Apocalypse who, after a century-long power nap, inadvertently gets reawakened and decides that mankind needs to be destroyed because how else do we set up the third act fight scene? In doing so, he unites a new set of mutants (or old mutants but younger), while also amplifying their powers in an attempt to kidnap Charles Xavier so that they can use his mind powers (GEE, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR!!) Meanwhile, the mutants back at the Mansion, both old and new, pretty much dawdle around until a major plot turn prompts them to stop him and his rogue mutants. No, really, that’s it.

            Now a simple story wouldn’t be a total issue, but that’s only if it allows some compelling connective tissue. As a screenwriter, your options are A): add some interesting character dynamics, arcs, or even just world-building, or B): add needlessly complicated plot points that at least prompt the characters to trudge along until the final blowout. Sadly, this movie does neither, thus making the whole story feel empty and unmotivated. During the transition to the second act, after almost 40 minutes of character introductions and pointless meandering, the film then detours to a pointless Wolverine cameo, where the young Stryker kidnaps the mutants for some reason. After that, they decide NOW to go to Egypt to stop Apocalypse and bring back their professor. There’s no rising or falling action, no defining themes that gave this series its lasting weight, no further explanation to its jumbled continuity (why is Wolverine taken in by the real Stryker rather than Mystique from the last movie?) no 80s-era context outside of pointless banter about how bad the third Star Wars movie was (Do you smell irony?), or no compelling stakes at hand, despite the movie insisting how powerful Apocalypse looks by destroying the city, because that hasn’t been done enough already.

This monotony also extends to the characters. The new characters like Angel, Storm, Psylocke, and Nightcrawler have no purpose outside of fighting. Mystique at one point positions herself as a revolutionary for the mutants – because who isn’t sick of seeing Jennifer Lawrence pulling that shtick again – but then hangs at the background. Magneto gets a new family at least, but it serves no purpose other than the movie needed for him to get sad and be the bad guy again. There is a stunning, albeit stupid plot twist involving Quicksilver that goes nowhere in the end, but he’s once again extraneous and only there for that same speed show from the last movie. Oh hey! Jubilee is finally in these movies, but for pretty much the same role as the old X-Men cartoon, which is to say none. Kudos to Michael Fassbender and James McAvory for at least trying their best, but the limiting character developments cripples their genuine engagement from the other movies. Only Jean Grey comes close to any dimension, growing from a frightened mutant tormented by her powers and then fully blossom in an admittedly dazzling finale.

But then there’s Apocalypse, played by the unfortunate Oscar Isaac. I could go on by how dull and aloof the other performance is (Jennifer Lawrence in particular looks so bored and fed-up with this movie it feels like a protest) but Isaac as Apocalypse in particular delivers the most unforgivably ridiculous performance. To say nothing of his boring character and over complicated set of powers, but the way this potentially great talent is clearly slogging through his cliched role, as though his glaringly terrible makeup design wasn’t bad enough.

Speaking of design, you’d think the film's saving grace would be the action and the CG, right? WRONG! Further proving that X-Men veteran Bryan Singer possesses no grasp on big-scale stories like this (ask me about Jack and the Giant Slayer some time), this movie inherits the worst of the old movies, with awful CGI, flat aesthetic, overuse of establishing shots, and uninspired fight scenes. I’m not saying that Singer is a bad director more than I’m saying that he works best in small-scale thrillers like Usual Suspects and even Valkyrie. Now it seems like the reigns of Matthew Vaughn have totally slipped the proceedings, delivering the same TV-level style that I thought we passed over by now. Even the fight scene with Xavier and Apocalypse in a dream sequence/psyche fight looks overstuffed and goes on for way too long.

Believe me, folks; I wanted to like this movie. I wanted a comic book movie other than Disney that could really prove as a true competitor in the modern movie landscape. But as I stand, X-Men Apocalypse is too reliant on the old with not much new to the table. The action scenes are fake-looking even for superhero standards, the plot stretches so thin, there is an abundance of missed opportunities with themes and any sort of allegories, the dialogue made me cringe, the chemistry between the characters lost their spark and now feels forced, and it all adds up to a big pile of "whatever". Here is to hoping that the next movie, or rather a new production crew, would finally give this tired franchise the X-Men First Class level high back. As it stands, its nowhere above serviceable.

Rating: 5.5/10

Review: THE NICE GUYS

Can we just stop for a moment and thank the all-that-is-cool demigod Shane Black? Seriously, he wrote the scripts of some of the classic action movies like Last Action Hero, The Last Boy Scout, and the iconic Lethal Weapon trilogy, which encapsulates a whole generation of masculine action movies. Utilizing this experience he built throughout those movies, he went to direct his action parody debut, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a film claimed by many to be his masterpiece. Though many might be write him off as yet another cynical action director based around scummy a-holes doing scummy a-hole stuff, I believe that these films hold some deeper context; outside of delivering action comedy chops, what really makes Black stand out is the way he observes and deconstructs his main leads and the environment around him. The way Tony Stark deals with his insignificance and anxiety in the Avengers universe in Iron Man 3, Lockhart and his position as a thief in KKBB, the whole works.

His endeavor this time, in his latest The Nice Guys, he examines two passé, hot-tempered detectives unable to cope with the new generation, all while delivering the most brutally hilarious and endearing buddy cop movie any buddy cop movie can ever transcend to.

To what amounts to a mixture of Lethal Weapon and Inherent Vice, it centers around a single father and licensed PI Holland March (Ryan Gosling), who is hired to investigate the apparent suicide of famous porn star Misty Mountains. Among this search, he comes to terms with an unlicensed and unmerciful detective Jackson Healey (Russell Crowe) and his brass knuckles, both hired by the young hippie. However, it all gets worse when Misty, who reveals to be an anti-pollution activist named Amelia, vanishes and it becomes apparent that March wasn't the only party interested. As both men are forced to team up, they'll have to take on a world filled with eccentric mobsters, exotic 70s-style strippers, and a possible government conspiracy.

One of the things that fascinates me about this move is that amidst all the shootings and trashy humor, there is quite a fascinating subtext about a new coming generation overlying the old. These two cops, along with most of the other characters, represents the retrograde, no-nonsense police enforcers now out of their depth with the new generation. At the heart of this subtext and what ultimately brings some unexpected heart to the film is Angourie Rice as the young daughter of March Holly. Having to deal with the hardships and goon mix-ups the same level as her father, she still endures to be tough and capable in her own right and restrain herself and others from going over their limits. Of all the themes I came to expect from this movie, the implication of a younger generation could stand more superior to the wide array of brutes, dirty strippers, trigger-happy criminals, or even police officials honestly passed my radar.

            But enough of that pretentious baloney! What you’ll likely get from this movie is a shit ton of slapstick humor, gun-toting action, and hilarious banter from the two main leads who might as well be called Abbot and Costello with a lot more balls! Crowe, as expected, is a blast to watch, portraying a husky, no-BS private eye who kicks all sorts of ass but also manages to bring some humanity near the end. But the big surprise is Ryan Gosling, bringing an unexpected Buster Keaton-type humor character. Of all of what I usually expect from a Ryan Gosling role (from romantic main lead to snarky badass) his turn as sort of a fun and ironic role is instantly his most memorable.

            However, for all that goodwill, I still struggle to call this film on par with KKBB. The reason lies strictly in design; KKBB is essentially a parody of these types of buddy cop movies that constantly breaks the fourth wall and pulls the rug from your feet with every twist out of the conventional story beats. This movie, though, sticks to be fairly predictable. It still works as is, and thankfully the movie stays far away from several clichés, but for the most part, anyone paying attention might catch up with about 40 minutes ahead at most. It is definitely not a deal breaker, but a compromise definitely from true greatness.

            Minor issues aside, it’s pretty awesome! The jokes are funny, the dirty stuff are really dirty, the character moments are engaging, the old-fashioned and exotic 70s setting feels lived in and compelling, and Shane Black remains the best at directing intense action. Definitely a would-be classic!

Rating: 8/10

Review: CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR

             Ever since IRON MAN came out, I always ponder on whether or not the MCU’s “shared universe” experiment would pay off. Amongst the Phase 1 movies barely reaching above average and the obnoxious references to other movies within movies (to which AGE OF ULTRON became the worst example of), a small part of me wonders if any of it matters to the big picture, or if I actually stick around for said big picture. However, after seeing other superhero franchises executing this concept SO. FRICKEN. HORRIBLY, my doubts simmered while Marvel's biggest secret became clear. They take their time in developing their wacky, comic-book universe while virtually blending it with the modern real universe, They care about these characters and their struggles so much as to have us care about them as well. They explore concepts and opportunities within these heroes and expands their meaning and what they represent to those that wrote them in the first place.

And now with CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, when the film might tread on the “dark and moody” vibe instead of the campy escapist fare that they represent, they smartly delve into the morals of these already-established characters and their reasons for going off against each other, all while never being shy of occasional fun. The result, even considering a few missteps, blooms into the most grounded yet thrilling superhero movie since THE DARK KNIGHT; a shining example of Marvel's status as engaging character-driven action romps with poignant philosophies about what we believe is the right course of action.

MINOR SPOILERS

The story takes place after ULTRON and THE WINTER SOLDIER, as the aftermath of those films leaves many people mortified and scared of the actions of The Avengers. Thus, the government decides to step in and issue the Anti-Hero Registration Act, a law that regulates the superheroes to refrain from taking action without permission, an act that polarizes the members in opposite sides. Iron Man abides, in an attempt to lower the risk of casualties while doing superhero duty, but Captain America opposes due to his “needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” viewpoint. The drama escalates even further as Bucky Barnes (the Winter Soldier) comes back to the picture, supposedly cured, and teams up with Cap in an attempt to steer clear from SHIELD incarceration. Meanwhile, a new character named Black Panther joins the conflict as a hijacking of a meeting kills his father and targets his rage at the Winter Soldier. This constant outbreak prompts Iron Man to team up the third Spider-Man in his team to stop the opposing side in order to comply with the Act.

If that sounds like more of an Avengers movie rather than a Captain America movie, that’s kind of the point. Rather than the actual character taking front and center of his movies, his ideas, the way he solves issues, and how said ideas are being conflicted instead reflects on the other characters, with some of them opposing the Act because they feel they can do things right again. The biggest variation, though, is that none of their sides ultimately become the WRONG choice nor the RIGHT one. With Iron Man switching towards responsibility to contrast the irresponsible behavior prior and Steve Rogers justified do-gooder turned independent vigilante, neither side trumps the other; sometimes it’s good that the world is saved with a few casualties, but sometimes said casualties wind up too unbearable to cope with.

  

All of this is due to the film's willingness to implement “breathing room”. Thanks to the Russo Brothers character-driven television backgrounds, the film allows them to set the story back a few times to properly flesh out these characters. I mean, c’mon! The idea of shoving in Spider-Man and the Black Panther while simultaneously developing Scarlet Witch and Visions friendship, AND shifting focus on Captain America saving Bucky would sound like another AGE OF ULTRON disaster, but it pulls together this time! While some hiccups are inevitable in this gamble, the willingness to take its time, plus some actual stakes by the actual team and not just another army invasion, gives this story its lasting weight.

And yes before you mention it, boy do I feel lucky to be alive seeing the best Spider-Man and the best Black Panther! Tom Holland as Peter Parker and Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther both succeed in adapting these characters in a script that impressively establishes them without treading on their back story for too long. Even keeping the abundance of solid action scenes in mind, the introduction of Black Panther and Starks small talk with Parker might be two of the best scenes in this movie.

But make no mistake, this film would never be worthwhile had it not been for the Russo Brothers surprisingly solid action. Seriously, this might be the best Marvel ensemble fight scenes ever! Explaining these would ruin the fun, but let’s just say that the airport scene… HOLY CRAP!

Judging solely on the action scenes pairing with the conflicting ethics of regulation would instantly make a masterful film, but sadly it is not. Once that big fight gets out of the way, the film feels like it should conclude from there, only to shift into another fight scene due to one’s own vendetta. No matter how bold of a move that is, to have this whole fight derive from a smaller but more personal struggle, but it took me out of the film to have yet another fight scene just a few minutes after another. You also might gloss over the “villain” in this movie that brings up a worthwhile twist in the end, but I pay no mind to it

Now I am sure there is quite a lot of discussion that my praise for this film strictly lies on my “bias towards Marvel” after recently bashing DCs shameless aping of this shared universe. Trust me, guys, I strained to stick with my doubts on this one. I desperately find anything wrong with this movie despite the ratio of reception of film and BATMAN V SUPERMAN telling me otherwise. Sadly, I stand by my statement.

This is not only miles better than DAWN OF JUSTICE, but I am right on board on the ever-so redundant but inevitable discussion that this is an opposite inverse of that in quality terms. Smart and funny writing instead of stupid and self-important trailer fuel; struggles based on character-based ideals instead of dumb manipulation; dark tone for meaning and weight instead of mindless aesthetic mimicking. Even that notwithstanding, this makes a confident, everlasting, and fun superhero movie properly made better by the eight years of world-building that has finally paid off. I would say watch it and judge for yourselves, but I believe my stand is as follows: SEE THIS ONE INSTEAD!

Rating: 8/10 (GREAT)