Review: ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

Ugh… Where do I even begin?

Look, I understand how absurd it seems that I feel indifferent towards the new Alice in Wonderland, given my age and social background. I am fully aware that my friends and I relish in the Hot Topic gothic scene and having a film based on the classic Lewis Carroll books drench itself in that aesthetic would won us over no matter what. But, sorry to break the news, some tragically flawed movies cannot be overlooked, especially if said movies grow increasingly dependent on adapting old classics. We must throw down our swords and admit that the well-intentioned misfire that was the new Alice movie just didn’t live up to expectations, despite the scattered good things and the signature Tim Burton aesthetic.

However, with this movie – Alice Through The Looking Glass – it just sucks. I’m sorry, but it’s just shitty. In fact, this is the movie that drives home the insight that these people simply do not get Alice in Wonderland. It is the type of bad sequels that squanders every little speck of goodwill on the better-in-comparison previous movie. The script is clumsy and awful; the acting ranges to bland to embarrassing, the direction feels lifeless, the story barely compares the originals big scope as much as it compares to filler Reddit fanfiction, and the iconographies from the original book remains as sparse and unfaithful as the first time around. Out of all the crappy sequels to movies, especially those in desperate need of sequels, this looks to be by far the worst, simply by the virtue of people behind it not giving one bit of a shit of what they are required to work with.

The level of suck this movie possesses doesn’t even prompt me to even pay mind about the plot, but it’s more interesting to realize how the screenwriter is about as careless as I am. The movie literally starts with Alice living her carefree, adventurous life as a naval voyager only to have it all stripped away by her ex-fiancé from the last movie for a contrived reason to have her back to square one (because sure, that’s how good sequels usually work!). After about 15 minutes of admittedly insightful commentary about sexist social life in early England, Alice then journeys to Wonderland (yes they used to call it Underland, but I pay little to that detail almost as much as this movie does) and discovers that the Mad Hatter is suffering PTSD from his parents’ death. Grief-stricken, Alice is informed that she must consult the matter to Time, a being with the ability to both manipulate every hour and spew out really obnoxious time puns. Having realized that he and the Queen of Hearts are conspiring against her, Alice takes matters in her own hands and steals the Chronosphere, a device-turned-time-traveling-hamster-wheel to save The Hatters illness. Oh, and the Cheshire cat is in this to!

Anyway, if you thought any of the plot points I listed would instantly make a great movie, stay away from Alice Through The Looking Glass. Every story element, like all of the classic Alice characters the movie throws in indiscriminately, is half-realized and ultimately pointless. The real life scenarios, where Alice struggles against the aforementioned sexism in the working class, are all abruptly resolved with no hesitation or engagement, with not even an attempt to satisfy with fantasy world, a concept that at least the first movie got right. Whereas the first movie adjoins the two worlds via a theme of finding the confidence to be different, this movie fumbles this completely, having the main lead shift from “I will not stand for this oppression” to “nah, it will pass. You can have all I have.”

But it’s more than just the final message; for a tired attempt to fully realize the Hatters and the Queens backstories’ via an over complicated time-traveling concept, the movie lacks the subtlety and nuance to have us invested in any of it. Not only does the movie takes the lazy routes of backstories (daddy issues, mean sisters, etc.) the whole staging and execution invokes no subtlety and winds up being tedious, and that is to say nothing of the film frequently detouring to the side characters fooling around. I have never experienced a 3^rd grade level script in the short time I spent watching movies in my entire life.

Had this been the first film, the weak script would be levied by some visual panache, much credit to Tim Burton. But this movie is stuck with James Bobin, late of two The Muppet movie. The attempt to fill in Burton’s seat cripples Bobin to replicate his vision, rendering the whole production limp and downgraded. Although he fits snuggly in the Muppets when all he does is photographs standard puppet antics, he falls incredibly short with set piece spectacles and overuse of CG and green screen, thus making them look bafflingly poor. And no matter how much CG and over-the-top costumes and make-up piles up on frame, he just makes the time-traveling sea-sailing look boring, the empty story look even emptier, and the painfully predictable climax look less inspired. The first movie may be little more than just style over substance, but at least the style came from a particular vision, and seeing someone trying to ape the same aesthetic is perplexing.

            The acting, which could have at least save this movie, is all flavors of bad. Poor Mia Wasikowska proving her abilities in other movies, but the way she tries to connect with her inconsistent character is clearly out of her range. Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp both top this year’s laughably terrible performance. What was once acceptable quirkiness from the first film now proves to be obnoxious once the film attempts to make them well-rounded characters. Only Borat, who plays Time, seems to be consistently fun in his role. Yes, it’s clear that he’s just marketing bait for the film, but he hams it up just enough so we won’t get sick of him.

            I could go on bashing this movie (like saying how bad the jokes are and how the Queen got her head so big is beyond stupid even by Lewis Carroll standards) but I would just be rambling. Bottom line, this movie is an absolute waste of potential, notwithstanding my low expectations. How so? Well, let’s compare the movie as a whole to one of its scenes, in which Alice has been transported to an Asylum for her abnormal behavior, only to then have her escape elatedly without any negative repercussions. They both could conjure some good potential (what if Alice was just crazy all this time) but it’s immediately sidelined and ultimately pointless. That’s the movie in the nutshell: theoretically intriguing but nowhere near as committed and ultimately pointless.

Rating: 3/10