Review: THE HUNTSMAN: WINTERS WAR

             

             I really wanted to hate THE HUNTSMAN: WINTERS WAR. On the surface, all the elements of any bad fantasy movies come into play with such potency that saying “this movie is not good” would be an understatement. The acting ranges from bland to phony, the CGI is overused and unimpressive, there is virtually no plot other than haphazard check listing of random events, the tone jumbles between self-serious to cheesy camp too frequently, and it is overall little more than mimicking the flashy aestheticism of the epic, sweeping fantasy genre. But… I still enjoyed it. Big, anchoring problems aside, there is a level of self-aware charm that blooms within the films absurdity that it almost goes out of its way to punish those who take it seriously. It’s yet another stupid, poorly constructed LORD OF THE RINGS clone, but I simply cannot deny how much fun both I and the filmmakers are having overall.

            Acting as both a prequel and a sequel to the first movie (yes, that again) WINTERS WAR apes the same carbon-copy fantasy style from the first movie on a different telling on the more recent Disney tales of FROZEN and BRAVE, in which the Ice Queen (Emily Blunt) acts as a sister of Charlize Theron’s character from the first movie and accidentally exposes her ice powers after realizing that her child has been murdered by, supposedly, her illicit husband. This scars her for the rest of her life as she builds and rules her own kingdom run by Huntsmen under the law that “love is forbidden”. But, big shock, a couple falls in love (Thor from the first movie and Jessica Chastain trying to sound and look like Merida) so the Queen banishes them with an unexplained and just ultimately forgotten mind-bending powers.

Fast forward to after the first movie, Thor and 2/7 of the dwarves come back to wander around for a few minutes until they run into Merida, who has info that the mirror is being pursuit by Elsa and the Huntsman, but is also mad at Thor for apparently leaving her. So they quarrel each while finding the mirror for another few minutes until they run into the queen and BLAH BLAH BLAH I don’t even care anymore, and quite frankly neither does the movie.

Apart of basically forgetting that the first movie ever happened other than the mirror coming back (thank god, because so did I), the movie basically does little to develop a coherent plot other than randomly-linked events. First Thor goes to a random pub, then he meets Merida, then she tells him that they need to find the mirror for some reason, then the Queen finds them and captures Merida, and then Thor and his buddies plot an invasion of the queen’s fortress to fight the queen. There is no glue holding it together and that is to say nothing how sloppy and dumb the rest of the writing is. The film poorly attempts to acknowledge certain story clichés (who saves who, the aspect of true love, etc.) but instead of transcending away from said clichés like other better stories, it just…does them. It does not even explain character actions, the rules of the universe or anything worth a damn. However, as stated before, the movie discriminates those who give it more thought that it deserves and just botches all sorts of logic and reason just because. At one point where Thor attempts his totally implausible invasion plan, he trips on the roof and falls flat on his face and saying “this is the worst plan ever” and it is there that sums up the whole movie: “We don’t even care anymore, but aren’t these actors having fun despite that?”

Granted, the actors are having a blast playing their one-note characters. Chris Hemsworth finally gains some levity among the otherwise handsome brute from the last movie. Chastain does a TERRIBLE Scottish accent, but she still has fun as the bow-and-arrow heroine spewing on-the-nose dialogue. Nick Frost and Rob Brydon are fun as the dwarves, who have been stripped down to little more than comic relief.

And, of course, the two main female antagonists easily steal the show as their conflicts between each other instantly caught my attention. Apparently Theron scorns Elsa (yeah I know she has another name, but it would be pointless NOT to call her Elsa) for being too weak to inherit the throne of a lifelong dynasty of evil rulers and goes out of her way to ruin her life just to toughen her up a bit. This comes as close to the film actually having some substance as it possibly can, and by the point the frankly underwhelming boss fight climax passed, I was still satisfied with how it concluded. Doubly so considering that Emily Blunt is literally the last person to be cast as a villain the same caliber as Theron. Don’t get me wrong; she is more than capable in other, better roles, but she has limited charisma to be the over-the-top Rita Repulsa character. But the movies “genius” is having that limitation be the actual dilemma of her character, overshadowed by her better, more evil sister. Had this been a whole different story, the movie would’ve had even less going for it than what already is.

So in conclusion, no it is not good. But in a strange way, it is almost a thrill to watch, mostly due to the filmmakers flopping in their efforts and just have fun for a change. This will likely be overrated by the new generation as this weird, campy relic from the past with the same appreciation as LABYRINTH or WILLOW. In either case, go watch and see for yourselves.