Top 12 WORST movies of 2015

The Top 12 WORST movies of 2015

Just to clarify: These movies are the movies that are either offensive or disappointing to a high degree. Therefore movies like THE ROAD CHIP or HITMAN: AGENT 47 aren't on this list because frankly, you already know they suck. Their presence don't really phase me, nor do they hold any label outside of disposable garbage. Also, some movies are considered Number 1 on many other Top 10 lists, but they, again, don't strike me as bad. Trust me, there appears to be a lot worse. So now then

12: TOMORROWLAND

Let’s be very clear, I am a huge fan of Brad Bird when he is on point. Excusing his raging objectivism with his movies, he has been the best at making great stories with particular premises while making grand visuals. But his latest outing, in joint with one of JJ Abrams bumbling screenwriter Damon Lindelof, has finally grant him his first weak entry so far. The story is a structural jumble, the action scenes feel hollow, the actors are sorely miscast, and the message, aside from being preachy, feels perfunctory giving the last third of the movie. It all adds up to such a dud, that complaining about the lack of Tomorrowland in TOMORROWLAND seems like an afterthought.

11: THE VISIT

Can we please restrain M. Night Shyamalan?! This guy is clearly saying“fuck it! Why bother” with this wasteful excuse of a “comeback”. Another waste of time in theatres, this rejected Twilight Zone episode stretched into a feature length tells about a pair of kids who visit their creepy and off-putting grandparents and engage in obnoxious and unbearable attempts at both character traits and suspense-building. All this builds up to a bafflingly obvious reveal that, for anyone shocked by this and already granting this as the first “comeback of M. Night”, makes me feel the off chance I’m missing something. Well, nope, this still sucks!

10: PROJECT ALMANAC

Here’s yet another Michael Bay produced movie that has a cool premise but does jack shit with it. This obligatory found-footage gimmick centers around an obvious pretty boy pretending to be a nerd character trying to make a time machine with his other stupidly good-looking “nerd” friends. There are so many ways you can do with this premise, but the film instead goes for, yes, trying to rewrite history for trying to rekindle his relationship, all while changing the present in the process. Stupid and obvious execution aside, the movie is just a bore, and out of all the movies that use the found-footage motif, this is one of many that REALLY doesn’t need to be. It could just be a regular, equally waste of time.

9: UNFRIENDED

Oh, speaking of wasted potential. Here is a movie that is recorded straight from computer footage during a Skype chat, until a mysterious caller invades their chat and somehow killing the group one by one. Sounds great, but then it COMPLETELY stumbles with a deluge of bad acting, redundant jumpscares, and drawn out boredom. Heck, not even the kills are particularly interesting!

8: PAN

I have no idea what they were thinking when they made this… thing. I just don’t. You simply cannot be told what Warner Bros were thinking when they greenlit this movie. It is as if they thrown in a shit ton of audience-drawing cliches out the wall and then made it into this… thing!

7: STONEWALL
This movie, much like the less offensive JUPITER ASCENDING, is one of those sad failures from once visionary filmmakers. In telling a story about how homosexuals are oppressed by the media and workforce in Stonewall, the movie goes way too passionate, and as a result deteriorates tremendously. Well-intentioned but heavily unfocused, the movie depicts said homosexuals into violent, stealing, BARBERSHOP-esque stock characters that we're apparently supposed to root for without any self-awareness. It tries but fails for it's numerous wrong decisions, to say nothing of it's shameful whitewashing of its main hero. Here's to hoping Emmerich's new ID4 movie bring him back to stardom.

6: 50 SHADES OF GREY

At first this movie baffled me by just how inert and laughably staged it was, but now I realized that hating it just wasn’t worth my time. It’s an adaptation of a women-fantasy porno that has wholeheartedly ripped off the plot of TWILIGHT! What did we all really expect? This movie is so pointless, not even the kinky stuff is worth watching, as they are so few and far between. Don’t even bother.

5: FANTASTIC FOUR

I’m still baffled by how much this keeps failing! Four dudes get superpowers, go on cosmic adventures and saving the people, and fighting the most badass comic book villain ever? How do you fuck THAT up?! Outside from the clumsy writing and cheap effects, this movie is just sinfully BORING. An obviously rushed, half-assed movie made to manage the rights from Marvel without any passion for doing so(just like last years disaster AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2), this is, as appears in Rotten Tomatoes, probably the final straw from fans against hackneyed producers who take them for granted in the first place!

4: TERMINATOR GENISYS

Oh boy, if you thought both the disappointing climax of 3 and the depressingly dull slog that was SALVATION was enough to ruin this franchise, get a load of this turkey! Not only does the unengaged performances, the TV-style production value, and the overly-convoluted plot cripple this movie enough, but the way it completely butchers the already troubled continuity for the sake of fanboy pandering is the icing on the cake. This was so bad, I don’t even think a top-down reboot would even be a good idea anymore. Just let this poor franchise die in piece, or at least have someone else make a separate successor so that we can be reminded how good this once was.

3: BURNT

Hey guys, do you like RATATOUILLE but instead of a likable rat, you get a self-righteous asshole who justifies his wrongdoings by his particular skills as a chef, in a film that somehow still frames him as the hero in a world who “just don’t understand him” and mostly plays said wrongdoings for laughs with no self-awareness? And those wrongdoings are sleeping with a lesbian food critic, among other things. No? Well, good! You don't need to bother with this sh*t

2:PIXELS

Out of all the half-assed, fart jokes laden Adam Sandler comedies over the years, this one is not only is worst, nor the worst film by director Chris Columbus, but probably the point in his career that poor Sandler just doesn't care anymore. An enormous letdown for an otherwise interesting retro-game alien invasion premise, it finally sets the nail in the coffin for the career for Sandler that not even HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 couldn't repair much of the damage. It's game over for now!

1: LITTLE BOY

And here it is, the worst movie ever in 2015! One of the movies mandated by the faith-based market that somehow goes above the level of bad - farther than just being lazy, offensive, or just straight-up stupid - and just have the elements of all three. The trifecta of cinematic feces! The characters: beyond unlikeable. The writing: abysmal. The tone: all over the place (why make a movie about a boy, then have the cbe flat-out racist!!!). Heck, even the so-called "good word" is largely unfocused, and ultimately just thrown out the window! And all of this is built up to literally THE WORST ENDING TO A MOVIE EVER!!! I just... Guys, I can't cope with it. Why do lame-brain filmmakers keep getting away with these movies?! This doesn't even deserve to be bootleg, folks. Take my word for it!